Are you eating alone?

I've just finished reading Keith Ferrazzi's book entitled Never Eat Alone a few weeks ago. I loved it and find myself applying the ideas from the book in my everyday life, over and over again. Each time I do it, they keep making more and more sense while his theory keeps getting validated.

It feels somehow as if each little step I take compounds with the previous one. This is no surprise. I think that's how its supposed to feel if you are doing things right. My friends are loving it too. Think about a tree. Or, if you are good with math, think about combinatory and set theory:

How many unordered pairs can one take from a set of N elements?. That's N times N - 1, divided by 2. How many new relationships can get established by adding one element to a set of N? That's [ [(N + 1) x N] - [N x (N -1)] ] / 2 = N. What? You don't believe me?

In a set of 3 elements, there are 3 x 2 / 2 = 3 different unordered pairs. In a set of 4, there are 4 x 3 / 2 = 6. In other words, adding just one element to the set of 3 increases the possible number of relationships among the elements by 3! Exactly the same happens with social networks. When you meet someone new, you can introduce her to (read: she can benefit from) your whole network and so creating new N relationships! In other words, the total number of relationships in a network grow exponentially with the amount of people you know (hint: as long as you are connecting them with each other!).

I must mention some of Keith's ideas come to me as common sense. However this is, in part, what makes the book so valuable. Growing your network of contacts and becoming successful is not just about approaching a few things differently here and there, or making a good move from time to time; it is about helping others, about being professional, about being persistent and being smart about it too. You can't afford just leaving it open to chance! (well, may be Paris Hilton can, but not me )

So yes, I was already implementing some of the ideas before reading the book, but I think following the whole, complete set of ideas and processes as presented by Keith is really what makes the big difference. Call it being serious and organized about it if you wish.

Anyway, Mark Goulston has posted a great summary with the main ideas at their blog (check out Never Eat Alone made simple). If you haven't read the book, I strongly recommend reading the article (and of course then buying the book if you like the article). If you have read the book, you should still read the article!

On a similar line, although more simplistic, there is also a change this manifest available for free: The caring and feeding of your network.